Rhubarb bitters July 23, 2012Posted by inspiredbywolfe in Drinks.
New, to the Nero Wolfe Emporium of Convincing Cures and Healthy Tonics: Rhubarb bitters. Guaranteed to cure whatever ails you, from measles and mumps to sadness and soberness. Properly medicinal, like a good bitters should be, with a pleasing rhubarb tang, the quality of these bitters is assured by Nero Wolfe himself.
Made from a recipe passed down from time immemorial, these bitters are handcrafted from the finest rhubarb.
Left to steep in the darkness of Nero Wolfe’s basement, the rhubarb imparts all its goodness to the vodka, leaving an elixir not seen or tasted before or since.
The rhubarb is then joined by another jar filled with bitter and medicinal herbs; the exact quantity and type of herbs used remains a secret for the ages. Nevertheless, it can be revealed that not more than 3 juniper berries are ever used, lest Nero Wolfe’s wrath be invoked…
Our assistants may seem like mad scientists as they grapple with giant jars filled with pink liquid – but please be assured they have all been trained to the highest standard and are indeed as trustworthy as they are keen to drink the bitters themselves. Now that the proper taste testing has been undertaken, we are pleased to offer our bitters for sampling right here and now.
Feel the effects of the wholesome bitters directly! Can you sir, or you madam, really risk *not* trying these bitters? We have set them up for you to sample, and once you are satisfied of their quality and healthsome effects (as you will be as soon as you taste them), we have bottles packaged up for you to take away with you immediately.
Naturally, if you are not completely satisfied with the ongoing benefits of your rhubarb bitters, you may return your unused portion for a refund. And because it is clear you are a person of the world, we will let you in on a little secret: the application of the bitters to an alcoholic beverage does wonders for your health and helps you forget about all your cares in the world!